


Lying to Myself

by HalRose



Series: The Shakarian Project [3]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Fluff and Angst, Interspecies Relationship(s), Interspecies Romance, Jealous Garrus Vakarian, Love Confessions, Mass Effect 2, POV Garrus Vakarian, Shakarian - Freeform, Slightly Smutty, True Love, mentions of other crew members - Freeform, shepard doesn't drink alcohol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-13
Updated: 2020-08-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25884733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HalRose/pseuds/HalRose
Summary: “I’m not jealous.” - Garrus Vakarian, to Tali.Set during Mass Effect 2, before the suicide mission.
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Series: The Shakarian Project [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876087
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	Lying to Myself

**Author's Note:**

> Part 3 of The Shakarian Project! Enjoy

**Garrus**

We’ve come to a bar on the Citadel, and they’re shoving drinks in Athena Shepard’s direction, but she turns them away, saying she doesn’t drink, and they don’t dare tell her to ‘have fun’, so they give her whatever she requests instead.  
She can’t dance, I know that much because I’ve seen her, but she seems distracted…. Like there is something on her mind and I want to help her out.

The problem with being a famous Commander like Shepard, is there is always someone else that wants to talk to her.

“Go up to her, Garrus. You’re her boyfriend, she’ll want you to talk to her!” Tali says from beside me as we watch as more and more people come and go and I watch as some of them even dare to place their hands on her waist.

I’m not jealous. 

She looks amazing in that dress – said it was the only new dress she picked up, because she preferred being in hoodies and uniform.  
It hugged at her figure, showed off her curves and I swear she was doing this all on purpose, to get my attention.  
Well, it’s certainly working,

“But she’s busy…”

“It’s a bar, Garrus. Just go over.” Tali pushes me in the direction of my girlfriend and I watch as she disappears amongst the rest of the clubbers.

I freeze. I don’t know what to say or do and yet, nobody is staring at me – everybody is more interested in the dancers.  
I should probably teach Shepard to dance sometime… I don’t even know how humans dance, I should probably look that up.

In just a few hours, our suicide mission awaits. They don’t call it a suicide mission without you know.. knowing what you’re going into.  
I’ll get a chance to visit Shepard at her quarters later but…. There is still a chance for us to have one last waltz, before we figuratively dance the fine line of death and destruction; and the line of success.

“You’re taking your damn time, Vakarian.” Shepard calls me over.

“Oh.” I realise I’ve been daydreaming and I walk over to her. “You… You look stunning, Shepard.”

“You always call me Shepard, Garrus. Call me Athena.”

Oh I’ll call you something, alright.

I try and think of something to say and I just say

“Yes Commander, I mean Shepard, I mean – Wow, I’m bad at this.” 

Athena laughs and pulls me closer, kissing me. She pulls away almost immediately.

“So, what were you talking to Tali about?” She asks.  
“About how you seem to be a popular attraction here at the bar…” 

I’m not jealous.

“Garrus Vakarian, are you jealous of other people paying attention to me?” Athena laughs.

“I am not jealous!” I protest, but as I say this, it’s clear I’m lying to myself. “Alright, but I can’t help it when I want you all to myself.”

“Well you can have me. Do you want a drink? My friend here can make you one.” Shepard motions to the bartender who doesn’t even say anything.

“I’ll have a small drink of a Turian wine, but I’d rather focus on us. After all, we know what’s coming our way.” I murmur, souring the mood.

Athena mutters something under her breath and I hear a yell from around the corner and it’s Joker getting friendly with one of the dancers.  
Miranda is not too far away, not interested in getting drunk, but watching us all – especially Joker, because he needs to be able to pilot the Normandy, but EDI Has pointed out that she has that capability.

The bartender shoves a drink in my direction. The wine is alright, but I’ve tasted better. We talk about what we’ve been through, and what we’ve seen and we realise that this could be the last time we get to have fun together.

“Is there anything you want to ask me, Garrus?” Athena asks me, genuine “You have my attention, you can ask anything you want.”

There are many things I want to ask her, so much I want to know 

“How long do you plan to stay in that dress?” I lean in and whisper in her ear.

“How fast can you get it off?” Athena replies, mischievously.

“I think it’s time we tested your flexibility again…” I growl.

We leave the bar, and head back to the Normandy.

We spend the rest of what time we have left together, before the final mission. We end up spending a LOT of time in the bedroom before the others come back to the ship.  
Lying on the bed together, I turn my head to take in the beautiful sight before me.

“You’re mine, you know that?” I ask Athena.

“Somebody is jealous of how much attention I get…Not all of it is good, you know.” Athena teases me again. “I like this side of you…”

“I can’t help it. You’re beautiful.” I say honestly and look away.

I don’t know why I look away, but I just do. It’s like… it’s like I’m saying too much but we’re boyfriend and girlfriend and I want to treasure every moment we have together and I worry that I’m not good enough.  
I’m lying to myself if I say I don’t have self-confidence issues. I just make it look easy to hide behind what I know, what I’ve been taught and keep this tough guy facade up.  
Athena places her hands on both side of my face and makes me look at her.

“I love you, Garrus Vakarian. No matter what happens.” She says.

“I...I love you too. More than anything in this universe.” I tell her.

I never thought I’d tell her I love her to her face. I’ve practised saying it before, but I’ve always stumbled over my words.   
I’ve always wanted to tell her how much I love her, but I always thought it was out of line.

She pulls me close, and we kiss again.

“I know you find it hard to say stuff like this. It’s okay. Take your time. I know you mean it.” 

I lean into her touch, wanting more, She understands me. She loves me, and she’s not lying.  
And it’s the best feeling in the world.


End file.
